1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1:PLACE>Spree</ST1:PLACE>
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
This is for all the mates of us PMSers:
THE HORMONE WARNING:
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a mate has to do is open their mouth and they takes their life in their own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every spouse, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.
Gotta love those...he he he
ReplyDeleteThis is hysterical!
ReplyDeleteI Like the quote below and I am PMSing and gong to share thes with my family !!!!!!!! Lori
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THAT !!
ReplyDeleteOHHH, THAT WAS TOO FUNNY!! I TOO WOULD LIKE TO SEND THAT OUT TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY. HOPE THATS ALRIGHT!! I WILL BE CHECKING YOUR JOURNAL OFTEN. LOVE IT!!
ReplyDeleteKIM.
Wait....... you had a hysterectomy and you are still having PMS?????? Crap.... I was holding out one last hope in my back pocket. God had to be a man, didn't he??? Loved your post.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're sharing your thoughts about your hysterectomy. I had mine two years ago and I'm still not over it. I wrote a collection of short stories about it because I thought I was going mad, and writing the stories helped to pull me throught it. They look at some of the more serious aspects of going through a hysterectomy. The title story, "Blue Velvis" just came out (August 2004) in a magazine called THE SUN. Lots of libraries subscribe to THE SUN, so if you're in the library sometime, maybe you could check it out. They are publishing 3 of the stories. Like I said, it's a tough road, so I'm glad women like you are getting it out into the open. Blessings--TW
ReplyDeleteMy mom had a hysterectomy too and she still gets PMS. (At one time all the PMS in the house linked up.) Believe me,my dad and Austin built a bomb shelter.
ReplyDeleteAs long as women have ovaries, they will still get PMS. What has helped my PMS is making sure I get natural sunlight. It does help. Also chocolate. Lots of chocolate.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!! Have some chocolate! I love this! Thanks for my first big laugh of the day!!! Hugs to you Celeste ~Ann : )
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious!! Really good stuff!! And true too!
ReplyDelete