Life took a few unexpected twists last week. Not very welcomed ones. One person's bad choice affects so many others. So selfish. Hard to tell if the remorse is because she was caught or if it is because of what was done. Damage is done regardless of the final outcome.
I hate gloom and doom but it seems to be following me around lately.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
All I ever wanted was is to have family. That is not to be.
My mama died 10 years ago. My brother and sisters and I have not gotten together as a family since. The closest was when my nephew got married in Virginia Beach. My niece made sure I could go by paying my way there. Holidays with my family is non existence. I invited everyone to holiday meals several times, no one accepted. I get the box of pears from my brother(I hate pears) for Christmas.
Holidays with Pat's family is even worse. They do accept invites and then are no shows, no calls, no shows.
So I said, does not matter. I will do for my little family group here. That did fine for a while. I missed the rest of my family, though. Now even that small gathering is over. My daughter hates me ( yeah she really does. The tone of her voice says it, her lips say it, the hands around my throat cinched it.) My granddaughter is with me now, sort of. Holidays and pretty much all waking hours are with her boyfriend and his family.
Still I will go on. Cooking my holiday meals, making desserts, and decorating. It's for me.
Still I miss family...
at 12:43 PM
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
This is a rant to me for me about me. stupid stupid stupid. why do i allow myself to feel anything all i ever do is get hurt i am tired if hurting tired of feeling tired of doing what is expected just tired
at 10:36 PM