Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Pat's mother is on a death watch right now. She quit breathing 3 times today. I pray that the family does not attack each other at her death bed.They have too much hate.

Edited to say that she made it thru the night.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Spiders, babies, eggs

Pat's daughter finally called. She apologized about Christmas. She said that one of the kids(not sure if she meant hers) got bit by a spider and had to make a trip to the ER. I was so relieved that she called. Pat is not so upset now. I feel that she wants to build a relationship with him. I know it will be hard. She was told when she was a little girl that he did not want her. I know that to not be true. I remember hunting for her. We ran down every lead we had. He was so angry that, first he was denied knowing about her until she was 4 or 5 then having her yanked away and hidden from him after only getting to see her a few times. She has lot of years of lies being told to her to recover from. It will be hard for both of them.

Pat's mama is holding on. I do not know why. I think she held on for so long that her mind is locked into the must live mode. I believe the only reason she lived this long is because she is afraid to die because of what will happen to J. J needs to get a life. It is way past time for her 50 plus year old butt to be dependent on herself not having her mother take care of her troubles. Can you tell I am bitter?

I am doing so much better. I am moving around at almost my old speed. Cleaning is slow but I am getting it done.

Pat found an egg! My little red hen is laying again and made her nest in the hay barn again. I really need to build me a small coop. I want to get me a couple Rhode Island Reds or Golden Comets. It is hard keeping these hens cooped up that have game in them. And besides, they eat bugs and scratch up horse poop. LOL

I am loving my new hard drive. Lots of space on it! I have most of my pictures transferred to it and my music backed up on it. I am in the process of deciding what to delete of the pictures I have. I have some .gifs and stuff like that, that I will probably never use. The ones I keep I need to better organize them. It will take time but, time is something I have.

Now I have a question. I am sure I know the answer but my mind is blank. How do I turn off autoplay when I hook up my drive?

Ok I am out of here. Getting hungry and I an tired of ham!

By the way. Just so you know. I would not get mad if somebody clicked on an ad! LOL

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas and other things

Christmas was okay around here. Brook, Candy, and Johnny came down and we exchange gifts. I was thrilled with my gift. I received and external hard drive, the exact same one I wanted! I also got nighties, perfume, sweats and a few other items. The kids left pretty fast. After that Pat's niece and her kids showed up and rode horses. Next came his step mother and 3 of her grandkids and they rode horses. All the while we were waiting on Pat's daughter and her 2 kids, that was supposed to show up and have dinner with us. She turned out to be a no-show and a no-call. Pat tried to not show disappointment but he was. Also, he was delaying going to see his mama. His sister called and said she had a death rattle. Pat and I finally ate and I convinced him to go see his mother. I told him that I could see the signs of him denying what was happening, the same as he did when his father lay dying. I know I sounded harsh but he needed to hear it. His mother did not have a death rattle( I have heard enough of them to know what they sound like) She was starting to run a low grade temp. Her responsivness was greatly decreased then from 2 days before. It won't be much longer. I am glad she made it thru yesterday. I know it sounds selfish, but her dying on Christmas would have made the future holidays very hard and I like Christmas too much. It would not do to have an already moody hubby even moodier because that is when his mother died...

LOL I am turning into my mother. Since my surgery I have been running around in a nightgown all the time. I laughed when I looked in a mirror today. It was like looking at my mother! She ran around all day in a housecoat, or a duster actually. Now I know why. It is actually very comfortable. And heck nobody comes over so who is going to see me anyways!?!

I looked at my fat horse yesterday and wondered what to do with her. I have her on light food, half rations of feed and hay and she is still round as a barrel! She is a very very easy keeper!. Pat is talking about going to the sales next month to see if any good cheap horses are going thru them. With the economy in the dumps people tend to get rid of animals. Someone at his work got a Tennessee Walker for $50!

Gonna get off of here. Getting sleepy.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Faith Hill

I turned the television on just in time to hear the most beautiful song. Faith Hill was singing Joy To The World. What an awe inspiring performance. tears came to my eyes. She sang it the way it sound be sung. Loud and with feeling.

baking, baking and baking

From Christmas
I have been doing a lot of baking the last 2 days. So far I have baked 10 loaves of banana bread, 12 loaves of brown bread, and 3 batches of fudge. Well technically fudge is not baking, it is cooking. I am in the process of baking 5 more loaves of banana bread as I sit here. I was going to make zucchini bread but I do not think I have enough butter left or energy for that matter! Finally it not only looks a little bit like Christmas , it smells a LOT like Christmas.

A little bit of news. I met Pat's daughter the other day after 16 years! A little over 16 years ago she disappeared from his life, not by his choice. We did not know what happened. There was over 2 years of child support payments no picked up and the court petitioned to end support payments. Anyway... she has 2 babies, a girl and a boy. We got to meet the little boy, Shane. He is 1 year old and looks just like Pat does in his 1 year old picture! He took right up with Pat immediately! The little girl is 3 in a couple of months. We did not get to see her as she was with her father. I don't know how often we will see them but I am glad we did. I hope that we get to see them more. She is a little bitter. She was told that he did not want her. He did not even know about her until she was 5 years old and then only got to see her about 5 times. Just long enough for the court case to get child support started.

It will just be me and Pat for Christmas dinner. We were going to go out and eat but nothing will be open except Waffle House. I will bake a ham and a few of the fixings. maybe next year things will be better and the families will get together for the holidays again. I hope so.

Pat goes on Jan 2nd for a consult on pulling his teeth. He had an implant break and now there is a screw sticking up in his mouth. he also broke a tooth and the rest are not in good shape on the bottom. He already has uppers. Not sure when it will be done but I hope soon. I am hoping that my approval letter from insurance comes through so I can get mine done too. LOL Then we will both be on a soft food diet for several months until we get our choppers. LOL Should lose some weight then also!

Ok I am tired. Gonna read a few blogs and lay down. I have been over doing it the last 2 days.
From Christmas

Monday, December 22, 2008

Fantasy Fudge, Original recipe!

Fantasy Fudge, Original recipe!

This is what Brook and I are making right now, a Christmas tradition in our family. Luckily for me and the rest of the family, Brook wants to learn how to cook. I may have someone to carry on some of the family traditions.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Test results

From Christmas

I went to the Doctor today. He said that there was no cancer!!! That made me very happy. I am taking hormones for now. I do not plan on taking them forever. I have to get extra monitoring because of my diabetes and thyroid. Yuck. I do figure I will just go through the hot flashes and whatever at another time. I don't thing that it is a good idea while recovering from surgery. LOL The Doctor said I could start doing light household chores. I asked him just what is light? he said dusting, washing dishes, nothing more that that for another week then slowing add more stuff. I laughed and said dusting is not light at my house! I have dusty birds!

Ok I am tired now. Sitting up in hard on my back and gut! I will be back later. take care everyone

From Christmas

Sunday, December 14, 2008

hospitals and stuff

From Christmas
I tell you this hurts. I have an incision from the inside of my belly button all the way down PAST the bikini cut incision from a previous surgery. Being beat up with a 2x4 probably feels better! I am on some pretty [powerful pain killers that are not touching the pain just makes me thirsty. I guess they are helping some because here I am. Actually it is my internet addiction that is getting me through this! LOL Okay 2 large tumors were removed. I will get the results of the biopsy Wednesday. He does not feel that they are cancerous.
Pat's mother is in the hospital now. Her kidneys were failing. She is doing better now but still may not make it past this episode. It may sound cold and cruel but she would be better off if she did not come home. The cruel thing would be her going back to that house. Her kidneys were failing because of severe dehydration. According to J she had just quit eating and drinking the day before going to hospital.I doubt that. I just wish her suffering was over.
Ok I am gone. Sitting up is taking its toll.
From Christmas

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I am off to bed. Tomorrow I have my surgery. I will be gone for a few days or more.

Saturday, December 6, 2008


At times I feel so aimless. I wander around and never get stuff done. Just a bit ago I sat down here to write an entry and it hit me that I wanted music to play in this entry. Not just any music but a specific song. I am sure I could Google and get a video or something but that is not what I want. I just want some music to play. Then I thought why not ask people out there what they use. I know there are those of you that know about putting music in your blog. What I want to know is what player do you use, Do you embed in the blog itself or on certain entries? How can I put a song in a certain entry with or without the option to turn it off?

The song I wanted? "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas"

It is starting to look like Christmas around here. I have the tree up, although it is not decorated yet. 1 string of lights on the tree is not working. I have a giant stocking hung on my front door. My merry go round is out and playing right now as I write this.
My dancing and singing toys are out waiting for batteries. The dishes and glasses are in the cupboard and the towels are hanging. There is more to do and little time to do it.

The clock is ticking for the countdown of my surgery. For some reason this one is making me nervous. My mind keeps playing all the what ifs. I keep telling myself nothing is going to happen but I cannot seem to convince myself of that. I have never approached a surgery with this feeling of dread before.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Jury duty is over

From Christmas
I get to the courthouse today and sit there waiting for the start. After a bit the judge comes in and tells us we are dismissed for the week and thank you for your service. Ok so I am done with that for this year.

I am procrastinating. I need to get stuff done before my surgery. I guess I keep thinking that if I don't do it then nothing will happen. Dumb. I know I am having surgery. That will not change. Of sure I can cancel it but that won't happen. I can't tell you that I have not thought of it because I have. I wonder what will happen that day. Pat and Candiac in the same room waiting on me...

I was going to tell you about something I saw and I cannot remember what it was. Lately I have been having trouble remembering stuff. I know it is all the stress I am under. I will get better. I will get through the surgery and through the holidays and get next year started and then life will be better... I hope.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

getting it done

Yesterday Brook came over and we made pizza for dinner. Yep, homemade pizza. Easy to make. Get a pizza crust mix, pizza sauce, cheese and whatever you want on it and in 30 minutes total you have a fresh pizza hot, right from your very own oven. While that was in the oven we made pumpkin pie! Another generation growing up knowing that the best pie in the world is pumpkin!

Pat is a little worried about what will happen after surgery. I think he is thinking of his stomach! LOL And clean clothes too LOL. Me too. I know that I will be washing my heart out this week. I am also gathering stuff for easy meals. Between that and getting decorated I am a busy bee... well I am supposed to be busy but here I am sitting in front of this small screen.

The snow was pretty coming down yesterday but now it is cold and the snow is gone. maybe a white Christmas...

Monday, December 1, 2008

Jury duty, snow, and decorating

Today I had to report to jury duty for the next week. Normally I do not mind jury duty but today was not one of those days. My back has been killing me. Due to my surgery next week I cannot take anything except Tylenol and that does not help at all. So I spent all morning swarming,trying to find a comfortable position. That was a no go. I was actually hoping to be called to be an actual juror, at least they have nice wide, padded seats! No such luck. 2 groups get called for trials, I sit and wait for break. At least 50 people did not show up, deputies were dispatched. If the people do not show up tomorrow then warrants will be served. Luckily the judge told us all to come back on Wednesday! The good thing is, I get paid for tomorrow even though I am not there! WOW , we get $20 a day! LOL Big time pay huh?

It snowed today. Our first snow of the season. Of course it did not stick. It rarely does anymore. I would love for some sticking snow, enough to build a snowman! Anybody want to send me a tractor trailer load? Normally we get about an inch in December and 2 inches in Jan. That has not held true for the last ten years. We used to get way more than an inch. I guess with all the dry winters we have had in the last 10-15 years the "normal" amount has decreased to 2 inches.

Surgery is next week on the 10th at 3pm EST. NOT looking forward to it.

Christmas decorating is in the works. First thing out was my mugs, glasses, and dishes. I decided a long time ago that I was not going to "save" them for one day a year. I use them from Thanksgiving on to the New Year. People tend to save certain things for special occasions like Christmas and Easter and other holidays. What if they don't come for someone? Why not share it the whole season long?
What is the worst thing that could happen? A broken plate or two? You never know when someone's time comes. ? So why not share the joy now. Eat off those Christmas plates, break out the good china, they are only objects.