Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The rest of the story

Sunday morning came. Brook and I left for church. Pat was on the phone with his mama. He had called her to let her know that we would be up there after  I got home.

I got home and recieve the news that we would not be going up there. At least not yet.... It turns out that his druggie sister was up there and his mama told him not to come! His mother begged for some time with her.This was upsetting for Pat.

He feels that this sister has tried to kill his mother. She steals her medicines and money. Lies to her, chain smokes cigarettes, blames her for everything that has gone wrong in her life. She is 50 something years old and refuses to take responsibility for HER choices in life. Refuses to see how her actions are the reason she is the way she is. Blames her mother because HER daughter decided to do drugs which caused her to fall asleep at the wheel of a car,thereby killing herself and putting 3 children in danger. Yes that is right. 3 children were in the car that rolled and flipped for over 100 feet. They came out of it with a few scratches but also with the memory of seeing their birth mother die (for 2 of them).

As evening neared Pat became increasingly agitated. He was worried about his mother. He called up there and recived no answer. Finally I could not take it anymore and told him to go up there to her. He did go taking her a plate of food. He could not get J outside after he got up there. He did not want to get into anything with her in front of his mother and upset her. His mama told him that J was going to stay the night and go home on Monday. Pat left and came home.

Monday morning I call and check on her to remind her to take her meds. I asked her about breakfast. She is eatting crackers, her stomach is upset. Funny., her stomach was never upset while she was down here...... J is still there. Supposed to leave that afternoon.

Pat ghoes by his mama on his way to work to take her a plate. Turns out that all of the bisquits were gone and the pot pie I had made. J had eatten them. Her mama had had fried potatoes, nothing else. Said her mama told her to eat it. Selfish, only thinking of herself. J leaves that evening.

I call later on to let her know that I would be up there in the morning to take her to the storeand guess what? She refused. Said J would be coming by later on Tuesday to take her. Well now the cycle is set. The druggie is once again getting her fix from her mama. Setting her up to move back in and destroy everything again.

Yea they say love is blind. It must be. J is partly right, her mother is to blame. She enables her, all in the name of love. Pat wants to wash his hands of the matter. He keeps saying, she will kill her this time. He can't save his mama from herself. She refuses to let go. The cycle begins again. Pat makes himself sick worrying about the things he cannot change. Me? I will call her every morning and ask her about the pills. I will take her to the doctors.  I will not go in her house as long as that person is there.



  1. You can only be there for her now Celeste, and just watch and listen.  I truly feel for you.  Take care,   ((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))

    Sandra xxxxx

  2. Been catching up on the M-I-L story.  Good girl, stand your ground.  I pray Pat can find some way to cope with all of this without so much stress, may God grant him wisdom.  -  Barbara

  3. Not a good situation...JAE

  4. Al Anon is for families and friends of alcoholics, and drug related problems too. Pat could find some relief there for himself. Caught as he is, in this vicious circle, it can be a real kiler. Sounds as if you are hanging in there!

  5. A story told over and over.  I have no idea why the child that is the most destructive can grab a parents heart  The parent lets them back again and again to repeat the process of using and slowly killing them.  It so sad.  My prayers are for your husband.  It must be horribly frustrating to have to be the child that watches it happening.  God Bless, Pennie

  6. Celeste
    My prayers go out to you, Pat, and his mother.  I know this is taking a toll on you.  I will pray this cycle is broken and that your family can find some peace again.

  7. Don't let them walk all over you Celeste.

  8. you know Pat cant help but worrie about his Mother even if she choses to let J use her.

  9. oh my gosh..pat and I have so much in common..My sister does crap to my mom also...She isnt into drugs but she uses my mom and it pisses me off sister makes way more money than my mom but she still trys to drain my mom...yes your right the mom is part of the she afraid...doesnt she see the daughter doesnt care if she lives or dies....Does pat talk to her about it?
    Donna In TEXAS

  10. So sorry this is all starting up again....if Pat could get power of attorney over his mama, he could get rid of the druggie sister....
    Hope all gets to going better for you Celeste..How well I know how draining this all can be.
    love ya,

  11. You have the right attitude. You do what you can, because what else can you do? If you could install a hidden camera or something and gather evidence against the daughter, I suppose you could get the police involved. But that could get ugly.

  12. We have had an addict in our family as one is safe and no one is exempt in that situation.  Prayers for you guys dear.  C.


Comments are welcomed, spam is not tolerated,