You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”~ Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism
“Emotional occasions, especially violent ones, are extremely potent in precipitating mental rearrangements. The sudden and explosive ways in which love, jealousy, guilt, fear, remorse, or anger can seize upon one are known to everybody….And emotions that come in this explosive way seldom leaves things as they found them”~ Williams James, American philosopher
I allowed my fear to get the best of me over the past couple of days. It manifested itself as anger. Once the anger got me in its grip it would not let go. I lost control and I am not sure of what damage has been done. No one was safe, including myself. I became my own worst enemy.
Things are quiet on the home front, for now. I know that I over reacted. I was not the only one that did so but I am not responsible for other people, only myself.
I need to sit back and keep my mouth shut. I have very strong opinions and sometimes they do get in the way of being reasonable. My reactions were not reasonable. I do not like it when things get out of hand. I will admit that I had a great deal to do with what happened. Luckily for me and everyone concerned I did stop short of telling her to get out. That would have been wrong. It would have hurt the whole family. I am going to have to hold the reins tight on myself for Brook’s sake. I do not want to create a riff that will cause me to lose her. And yes I could lose her as I know some of you out there know.
I know this is my house and I am the one that raised Brook for the most part but I have to allow my daughter to take over. I will step in if things are off. I just hope that she realizes that she cannot be too harsh or she will turn Brook against her. She does not understand the heartache that you have when your own child is against you.