Friday, April 16, 2004

getting ready

Today is a bad day. I started out by being grippy with Brook, the cat brought her one surviving kitten in the house and I have to go to court. That is the one single reason why it is a bad day. I am scared that my daughter will be sent away for a long time and it is not a good feeling.

She called me last night and I could hear the fear in her voice. She was wishing that she had not done the right thing and turned herself in. I know she did the right thing but she is needed at home. Her daughter needs to get to know her mama. She has already missed so much of her life and she will never be able to make that up. 3 years is a long time to not be there. I have been mama for so long that it will be  hard to give that up. Drying up the tears, kissing the booboos, the games, the laughter, the first tooth, the first day of school, all of those things I got to share with Brook. My heart aches at the thought of giving it up but I know that someday ( and that someday may be real soon ) I will have to let go. I feel my heart getting so tight now just thinking of it.

Time for me to go. I will be back later.

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