I was reading in Ramblings from the reservation in her entry about her friend D. In it she recalled a memory of when her mother was in the hospital. It reminded me of back when my Daddy died. It has been 34 years yet I still recall so many memories of that time. It was a horrible time in my life, the beginning of many horrible times. Up until the moment my Daddy died I had a wonderful life. No worries, I always felt loved and wanted, I felt special. Yes, I guess I was a Daddy's girl. When he died I was on the verge of a new life. In a few months I would be leaving 8th grade and entering high school, making plans for my future life. At the stop of a heartbeat everything changed. One morning my Daddy left for work, the next morning I left for school while a hearse transported him to a funeral home. At school a few people noticed me but no one said anything to me. No one knew that my daddy died that morning. I saw Kim and told her, she hugged me then the bell rang and we went to our classes. Soon I was involved in my classwork. Someone asked me why I was crying. I had not realized that tears were sliding down my face. I told her that my Daddy had died. She called me a liar and laughed at me. I could hear the whispers going around the room and the giggles. Not long after that there was a knock at the door and I was told to go to the office. Once there I saw Kim and her mother. She had called her mother and she came to get us and take us home. For the next few days I stayed at Kim's house except when I was at the funeral home.
I did not cry again for many years.
Wow. Such emotions, long buried. I think you have more to tell.
ReplyDeleteOh, Celeste, how terrible. I am so sorry. Why on earth were you sent to school? It seems almost cruel. I hope that you can cry now freely, when you need to. Margo
ReplyDeleteI don't think it makes any difference how long our special person had died and left us....the pain still hurts....and even tho we have put it in a special place....it does come out ever so often to visit with us....for me that means I was loved by that person...and even tho they are gone....they still want me to know I am loved....so it is with your memories...tough to lose a parent....but Daddy comes to visit in our memories...cause he still loves us.....God Bless Celeste....Hugs...Ora
ReplyDeleteThat must have been so hard to have to go to school that day. I'm sorry this happened to you that way. Paula
ReplyDeleteMY GOD CELESTE..WHY IN THE WORLD WERE YOU SENT TO SCHOOL THE DAY THAT YOUR DADDY DIED????????GOOD LORD, I AM SO SO TERRIBLY SORRY THAT THIS HAPPENED TO YOU LIKE THAT.......AWWWWW CELESTE, I WISH THAT I COULD TAKE THE WAY THAT TRAGEDY WAS HANDLED AWAY FROM YOU....I AM SO SORRY...GOD BLESS YOU SUGAR...(((((CELESTE)))))
ReplyDeleteLOVE YA,
CARLENE
It's unimaginable that you went to school that day. How awful that must have been for you....especially to have kids think you were lying.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine what it is like to loose a parent as a child. It was hard enough losing my dad....and I was an adult and we knew it was coming. So much emotion to try and process. God bless you for all you've been through.
Suppose it was a mistake sending you to school that day. I can identify in many ways....my daddy died in January of my Freshman year in high school. - Barbara
ReplyDeleteThat is so unimaginable to me to lose a parent at such a tender age. I'm glad you survived. I doubt I would have. Still not sure I'll survive the death of my mom at AGE 40! Life sucks so much at times.
ReplyDeleteRuss
Oh, this is so sad, but I am also happy that you had a father worth grieving over. I do not think I would even blink if my dad died.
ReplyDeleteSOmetimes being at school was a safe haven for me, too. Sometimes it was a nightmare.
Now the last post I read makes sense. I can see why you wanted to try to live your life without the change in it. Kim's mother was very kind. You were lucky to have had a daddy who loved you so much.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Isint strange how some things just stand out clear as day even tho they happened years ago?
ReplyDeleteI was so sad and scared, I felt a huge void. I can imagine you felt just as awful too.
I can't imagine losing a parent so young! They are our security. I'm glad you did good.
ReplyDeletePam
I am so sorry for the cruelty of your schoolmates. It's a shame that such stupidity stays with us forever.
ReplyDeleteI cry, all the time. When I am alone, for all the friends I have lost.