Monday, August 15, 2005

hissy fit

Where shall I begin? Last week I went up to Pat's mom's house to take his siter to the store. Well when I got there she refused to go. Said that she was a grown woman and 53 years old and knew how to take care of things. She said that she wanted the money to go to the store by herself, that she did not want anyone tagging along hurring her up.(Like I would hurry anyone at grocery store! Grocery shopping is one of my delights!) So she keeps on and on and gets her mother to crying and all upset. I tell her that she needs to think of her mother. She says she is! i gestured over to her and said look she needs groceries and you know what to get. She said well I am not letting you take me to the store. I don't need babysitting. Take mama if she needs to go. I wanted to smack her so hard! Finally she agree to go and buy a ham. Stupid. She spends $33 and gets nothing- a ham, cokes, doughnuts, punch, a can of yams, crackers. We get back and she starts going off again about how she is going to just pack up and leave. her Mama can fend for herself. Gets Hazel crying again.  Continues to rant about how she knows how to take care of things. How she has never taken any money from her mother. Goes on about a fight that landed her in jail back in March where she and her daughter attacked C., who had just had 4 stents put in her heart less than a month earlier. Claimed that C had attacked her. Charges got dropped because C was just too tired to do anything about it. I am thinking , "Never took money?" Does she think I am stupid? Once in the past year she took the money for her mother's bills and went to FL on them. Another time (this year) she took her mother's last $500. And again this year the bills were left unpaid for 2 months. Where did the money go? Hazel swears she gave J the money to pay them and they got paid. What is it with that person? How can she be so cruel? I do not think that J can be honest with even herself!

So anyway the next day J leaves. Pat goes and gets his mother and brings her down here. Friday morning bright and early she decides to go home.  I take her. Of course she has no key. I knew that but she insisted she did. I go get key from Pat to open her house. I finally convince her to let me go to store for her since she would not go. We make out a list and now today she claims to have nothing to eat. I bought everything on her list. I spent in the last week over $100 on medicines and food for her house. I kept asking her what about this or that and she would say no no no. She cannot be pleased.

Well anyway J is apparently calling her because about every hour or so she calls here and says she wants her damn money. She wants her PIN number and where is the card going to. This is a woman that has never had a bank account. She does not have the foggiest idea of what a PIN number is. She ain't getting it honey! She has extra expences this month, and with luck it will last until the end of the month. I DOUBT IT!

O yes 1 ,more thing. I am the one making up all these tales about J taking her money and all the other stuff! LOL So I am now the bad daughter in law again.

Pat has told her that if he is not in charge and she insists on getting all her money then he would not answer her calls for help.


  1. I feel for you dear.  We had an addict in our family too, until recently.  Hugs and prayers.  C.

  2. It's all about control.  Too many people are wanting to control you to suit their own selfish needs.

  3. people like your sister in law make we wish putting people to sleep was legal..She just takes up air that the rest of us need to breathe..
    Send her down here I'll whip her ass...I know people
    Donna In TEXAS

  4. There is no easy answer...or easy out. Just follow your heart and don't let what they say get to you (too much). Your conscience will be clear....


  5. Hang in there Celeste.  I think every family has had one or two like your SIL.  Doesn't make it any eaiser, but you know that we are all there to listen.  Pennie

  6. What a difficult and painful situation for both you and Pat. Addicts are so extraordinarily good at manipulation and self deception that it makes any dealing with them problematic. I wish you some peace. Margo

  7. I feel for you Celeste..been there done that...
    I go along with Donna's answer! lol...She gave me a much needed laugh! lol
    Do not give the money to her...whatever you do...KEEP IT TO PAY HER BILLS ETC...THE DAUGHTER JUST WANTS TO GET HER HANDS ON IT.
    I will keep you in my prayers.
    love ya,

  8. Celeste I wish there was an answer to this problem that would sort it for you - but you stick to your guns......Ally

  9. Celeste
    You and Pat need to stand your ground.  You are doing the right thing whether Helen ever realizes it or not.  There is no easy solution to this problem, only time will bring any real conclusion to this situation.  Let's hope the SIL stays gone and finds another meal ticket/drug dose elsewhere.  In the meantime, chin up and keep that garden producing.

  10. Honestly...I thought I was patient. But are a saint to put up with this crap! I'd be declaring your MIL incompetent, putting her in an assisted living facility and selling that house of hers. If SIL is "a grown woman" then she can just take care of herself on her own for once and stop mooching off her mother.

  11. My Lord. You have the patience of a saint.

  12. God grant you the strength not to clobberknock a certain someone!


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