My day and thoughts: August 2005

Both sides of my family are from Louisiana although I have never lived in that state. My father was a pilot in the Air Force and we moved every three years. Mom's side of the family is the Southern Louisiana half of the family with most of our relatives living in and around Franklinton, La. Franklinton is about 75 or 80 miles north of New Orleans. My father's kin all live in the northeastern part of the state in Winfield, Louisiana. My sister moved to Slidell several years ago after remarrying. They have/had a beautiful home just northwest of Slidell on the Pearl River. A nice sprawling house with a boat dock, swimming pool and big yard. They keep their forty foot Carver Yacht at a Yacht Club on Lake Ponchartrain. All of Jan's husband's family live in New Orleans. Jan and Dave, her husband both work in New Orleans. There is one saving grace to all of this. Jan is a Lt.Col. in the Army Reserve and is assigned to active duty at Ft. Polk, Louisiana which is five hours north of New Orleans. Dave went to stay in Franklinton at my first cousin's house so he was not in the area when the storm hit. Dave and everyone in Franklinton are okay and alive. We are waiting until tonight to hear if ANY of Jan and David's house is left or if the boat is still there. I'll find out at that time if Dave's family is okay or not. I may have to go and help down there. I can haul a generator or whatever else they need in my pickup truck and help them get things cleaned up. If the house is leveled, there will be no need to go. I'll keep everyone posted. In the meantime, if you have room for one more family in your prayers, please add mine to the list.

Sincerely, Sam

Here is an update I received this morning...

I know that my closest family members are safe this morning and have shelter, what I don't know is if my sister has anything left of her house. The last report I recieved last night on the condition of Slidell is that the entire town is under water and that the water in some neighborhoods is up over the roofs. But they are alive! I am so thankful!

Sam

Hundreds of people are dead and many more may be found dead. Many people have suffered the loss of everything they have, they need our help. Please do what you can.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

tryouts

Tonight was tryouts for the Demo Team. Brook was the youngest one there and the smallest. She tried so hard. Running and kicking, doing her forms and breaking boards. She did a short demo of numchuks. Afterwards she came to me crying. She thinks that she did not make it. She tried so hard. I am so proud of her. I kept telling her that. Several other people came up to her and told her how good she did. She is only 7 years old, the next one up was 9 and everyone else was 10 and older. It will devastat her if she does not make it. I know that there is a possibility. I keep telling her that if she does not make it this time that there is always next time. I could not get her in a better mood. We will find out Thursday during class if she made it. I will keep everyone posted.

Help

Katrina has passed and now life starts over. Many people including some of our own(J-Landers) are faced with the aftermath of Katrina. Lives were lost, home destroyed, families split up and pets dead or missing due to the storm. How many levees have been weakened by its force? How many homes will crumble? How many will get sick afterwards? How many more will die?

People are without power and water, many have nothing more than the clothes on their back. There are hundreds of thousands of people that need our help. Go to the RED CROSS and donate what you can. Find a place in your town or organize a place and donate clothes, water, diapers, pet food, baby formula, household goods, anything that may be needed. If you can sign up to go as a volunteer and help with the cleanup.

Last, pray, send vibes whatever you do, just do it.

Not a day for dresses unless you wear RED panties! LOL

Monday, August 29, 2005

ok

I proved to myself that I cannot stay away from here. So I just will not try anymore. LOL.

Buddy is doing great now. At this very moment he is running around the house like a madman(cat). I only wish I had that much energy! He does have a problem(besides being a wildcat). He has trouble eating. He shoves his whole face in the food and tilts it sideways to get a bite. No trouble drinking though. He feels like he is starting to gain a bit of weight. He weighed 5 pounds at the vet's office.

Chip is working on a nest. No eggs yet from Peaches. Not sure if she will ever lay any. Chip is giving it the old collage try! If there are no eggs it won't be from a lack of trying!

Pat has broken loose from his Mama. The sister is back there. So far no calls except to tell him that she wants something back that he did not have. He told her that he does not have anything of hers and that she needs to call the ones that did take it not him. It seems that when anything is missing he is the one that is accused of taking it. Funny thing about her(well not funny, just sad) IF she ever gives you anything it is not yours. I cannot tell you how many times over the years that she asked us to give back the things she has supposedly gave as a gift. She would then give it to someone else.

Candiac is working 2 jobs now and going to school full time. She is back to work for the landscaping company she was working for. She is gonna do that 4 days a week, waitress 2 days and go to school 3 nights a week. She thinks she will have more time with Brook this way. I think not. Nothing I can do about it.

One of our own has family in the direct path of Katrina. Sam of Dock Lines has family outside of New Orleans. Please send prayers and good thoughts to all the people that are in the path of Katrina. And then go to the Red Cross and donate what you can for the people there. They will be needing all kinds of supplies, water being of the upmost importance.

Me, I am ok. Still not sure of how things in my life are going to turn out but I will not stress over it any longer. At least I will TRY to not stress out! LOL.

I got my bloodwork back from the doctor. It was not the best news in the world. Thyroid levels were on the low side of normal so that was ok. The big problem was my cholesterol (218), my HbA1c(6.6%), and my weight(180 pounds). So today I start working on all that stuff again and NOT slack up.

I have to get back started on FLYLADY. I was doing so well and then BAM everything back to a mess. The cleaning system works if you stick to it. I am a slob. I need all the help I can get. LOL Ok time to finish folding laundry and I need to eat and exercise.

It feels good to be back all the way, not just sneaking in! LOL

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Buddy

I am feeling so much better! Thank you!

Friday, August 26, 2005

My new fuel gauge

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Thank you

Buddy has recieved his miracle. Around noon today he took his first bite of food. He is not out of the woods yet.

Tuesday afternoon Buddy, my white cross-eyed cat, came inside and went under the table and curled up. A couple hours later I noticed when he came out that he was drooling A LOT and his tongue was protruding from his mouth. He went to the water dish and was unable to drink. He then just laid there and looked at his dish. I went to check him out and was scratched and drooled on in the cut. Not very long ago he was bit by an unknown animal so I was not happy with the way things were turning out. I knew what the incubation period is for rabies and the signs and symptoms. I was unable to get the vet on the phone as they were closed for the night.

Wednesday when I was finally able to get there, I was very upset. They took me back right away. Buddy was very passive until they got the to the part where they take your temperature! That was passed over! LOL When they tallied up the costs I knew it was all over for him. They gave him a shot of steriods and antibotics and said just take him home and hope for the best. His tongue was so swollen that they could not see in his mouth.

I cried most of the day yesterday and all night. I fell asleep crying and woke up to tears already sliding down my face. I could see no change in him at all. If anything he seemed worse. Around noon today, about 1 hour before time to have him put down, he ate about a teaspoon of food that had been soaking in Pet Milk. Of course I cried again.

He and I are not out of the woods yet. He has to live until next Thursday for me to be safe on the shots.

He just ate a bite of tuna. He really cannot afford to lose weight. He only weighs 5 pounds now.

Thank you each and everyone of you for you good wishes, prayers and positive thoughts.

I have taken care of Buddy since the day he was born. He was born on the first day that I made an entry in this journal. It was me that cleaned him after being born. I was the one that taught him how to clean himself. I was the one that gave him medicine so he would not become blind( he had an eye infection). I am the one that helped him to walk when he could only drag his legs. He is my Buddy.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I am watching my Buddy die. It will take a miracle to save him. I could not afford the $545 for the vet bill. He received a shot of steroids and antibiotics. If he has not improved in 24 hours I will have to put him down. If he starts drinking water or eatting anything then maybe he will make it. It is not looking good. I will not get to bury him. He will have to be sent off for rabies testing.

NOt back yet just can't stay completely away. I am on my way to vet with Buddy, possible rabies, hopefully it is something else. He was bit a bit back. Incubation is right timing. I DO NOT WANT TO GET SHOTS! I was scratched and drooled on.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

roof

Monday, August 22, 2005

I am taking a break right now. I do not know how long it will be, a couple of days, a week, who knows maybe just a couple of hours. I have to rearrange some things in my head. It is not just the journals, it is the computer I am taking a break from.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The Round Robin challenage this time was Who I am in Black and White. There is a lot more to me than what I could possibly put in a picture.

Below are the other Round Robiners. Check out their photos too. If you would like to join the Round Robin click here

My Pat

I wish there was more I could do for Pat. This deal with his mother has him questioning everything about his life. He cannot understand why anyone would choose a drug addict to believe over him. His mother has been so brainwashed by his sister that there is nothing he can do. He has commented that maybe he should be like her, keep the money and lie and cheat like she does. He said if that is what she wants then I can do that. I can take her money and let her scramble around looking for a way to pay the bills and buy groceries.He wonders why it is that he cannot seem to get ahead but all those that lie, cheat and steal always manages to do so. I know he is angry and hurt. He had his mother's best interests at heart yet he is the one treated like a dirty dog. He will give her what is left of her money, I know that much about him. He can't cheat her, it is just not in him to do so.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

It has hit the fan

Well I believe Pat has taken all the abuse he can from his mother. He cannot break her cycle of co-dependency. He has said that he is going to just give her all her meds and money and cut her loose. If she wants J then that is who she can have. He will not bail her out again. J and his mom have cost him 1000's of dollars over the last 2-3 years in lost hours from work, leisure time, and actual cash money. He said that she has gone from calling me a sweet person to the witch from hell ( not her words, I cleaned them up) He said I know that you have been good to her ( that felt good hearing him defend me... he has not at times in the past when it came to his family) He is going to cut off all ties with her. He will have peace with that at first, then the guilt will set in.

Monday, August 15, 2005

hissy fit

Where shall I begin? Last week I went up to Pat's mom's house to take his siter to the store. Well when I got there she refused to go. Said that she was a grown woman and 53 years old and knew how to take care of things. She said that she wanted the money to go to the store by herself, that she did not want anyone tagging along hurring her up.(Like I would hurry anyone at grocery store! Grocery shopping is one of my delights!) So she keeps on and on and gets her mother to crying and all upset. I tell her that she needs to think of her mother. She says she is! i gestured over to her and said look she needs groceries and you know what to get. She said well I am not letting you take me to the store. I don't need babysitting. Take mama if she needs to go. I wanted to smack her so hard! Finally she agree to go and buy a ham. Stupid. She spends $33 and gets nothing- a ham, cokes, doughnuts, punch, a can of yams, crackers. We get back and she starts going off again about how she is going to just pack up and leave. her Mama can fend for herself. Gets Hazel crying again. Continues to rant about how she knows how to take care of things. How she has never taken any money from her mother. Goes on about a fight that landed her in jail back in March where she and her daughter attacked C., who had just had 4 stents put in her heart less than a month earlier. Claimed that C had attacked her. Charges got dropped because C was just too tired to do anything about it. I am thinking , "Never took money?" Does she think I am stupid? Once in the past year she took the money for her mother's bills and went to FL on them. Another time (this year) she took her mother's last $500. And again this year the bills were left unpaid for 2 months. Where did the money go? Hazel swears she gave J the money to pay them and they got paid. What is it with that person? How can she be so cruel? I do not think that J can be honest with even herself!

So anyway the next day J leaves. Pat goes and gets his mother and brings her down here. Friday morning bright and early she decides to go home. I take her. Of course she has no key. I knew that but she insisted she did. I go get key from Pat to open her house. I finally convince her to let me go to store for her since she would not go. We make out a list and now today she claims to have nothing to eat. I bought everything on her list. I spent in the last week over $100 on medicines and food for her house. I kept asking her what about this or that and she would say no no no. She cannot be pleased.

Well anyway J is apparently calling her because about every hour or so she calls here and says she wants her damn money. She wants her PIN number and where is the card going to. This is a woman that has never had a bank account. She does not have the foggiest idea of what a PIN number is. She ain't getting it honey! She has extra expences this month, and with luck it will last until the end of the month. I DOUBT IT!

O yes 1 ,more thing. I am the one making up all these tales about J taking her money and all the other stuff! LOL So I am now the bad daughter in law again.

Pat has told her that if he is not in charge and she insists on getting all her money then he would not answer her calls for help.

tarot

Family issues may be complicating your life now and preventing you from reaching your goals. Hang in there, Taurus, for everything is about to change. The most important thing, however, is persistence. Even if you're not making the progress you desire, your determination -- even stubbornness, if necessary -- will pay off with recognition for what you are contributing.

How is that for on target?

Sunday, August 14, 2005

:-( I burnt dinner.

The heat is yucky! 91 right now. Cooking burgers on the grill. Will update good in the morning!

Saturday, August 13, 2005

im alive!!!

Times sure flies when you are having fun! It has been a while since I updated. I am behind in my reading too.

Brook is doing well in school. She is making 100s on everything. PE has been a bit slow as she cannot play contact sports. They are playing basketball and kickball right now. She started testing this week for the gifted program. Not sure of when the results will be back from that. I think she may still have a test to take. She needs to work on her handwriting. All summer with no practice has really messed it up!

Pat is working too hard as usual. I worry about him at work in this heat. He has to be reminded to dring water! He has packed on a few extra pounds and that hurts. Being exposed to his mother's smoking is not helping with him not smoking. He quit smoking over a year ago after over 35 years of smoking. It makes it so hard for him to breath, he has asthma. I pray that he does not start up again.

Belle is doing great out in the field with the other 2 horses. She has a few bite marks and kick marks but nothing bad. Precious has lost some weight with just being confined to front field. She needed to lose. It has been too hot to ride them so all they do is eat. Crystal has a problem right now. Apparently she has stepped on a stobe or something. She has a hurt front foot. We are having to clean it out every day. Not a lot to do for it. We have been soaking her foot in an iodine bath for 15-20 minutes. It does not appear to have anything in it. If there is anything in there, it will have to work it's way thru the hoof. Depending on where it is, it could be a year before we ride her again. In the meantime, no riding her. With luck it will heal soon. We may have a buyer for Belle. IF they buy her she will be moving to Texas! So all my Texas friends will have to look out for her.

Candiac is doing well in school. Makes straight A's. Runs in the family you know! LOL She is working at Ruby Tuesday. Doing well there. I would hate to have her life right now. She is working days and nights, going to school nights and has a social life. NEWS FLASH.................... She has announced that she is getting married on Oct. 29th OF THIS YEAR! So guess who has a wedding to plan in a very short time. She is engaged to a man that is nice to her, revers family, never married. His name is Juan Carlos T. Everyone calls him Johnny. He is an American citizen, not someone looking for a green card. He was born in Guatamala and came here as a baby when his father was assassinated. He has lived in Dallas, Texas his entire life. He moved here because his older sister needed his help. She has health concerns.

Now Hazel is a big thing in my life right now. That will be an entry by itself.

My garden has been generous with squash! Now if only the rest of it would hurry up.

I am alone today. I hope it stays that way. The quiet sounds so good.

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

update on Hazel

Just got home from taking Hazel to the surgeon for follow up to surgery. It was good news. It was not cancer! I cannot tell you what it was called ( because I forgot to write it down!)but it is something that looks like squamous skin cancer but does not keep growing, instead it normally bursts and goes away for a time but will return if not removed. He said that this one did not act like it. It and acted like cancer. Everyone was relieved.. She was going to have to undergo a topical chemotherphy but now does not have to. The skin graft is taking good. The key is for it to continue to do so. She goes back there next week and also to her other day on the same day. BUSY!!! for me! And that is just the beginning. I will be paying the bills for 2 households now. O boy. It would be easier if they had same due dates! Now I will have to learn more dues dates!. I am in the process of setting up a calendar to alert me as to when things are due.

So that is the news for now.

For the birds

Yesterday was a day for the birds! I enjoy it when our birds are loose and take flight. They fly around then head back home.Every once in a while they fly off into the other rooms and land somewhere else. They seem to enjoy themselves so much. Some people tell me that I need to clip their wings so they do not accidently fly out the door if someone comes in. I have thought about that..... but then I watch them fly again. Chip has always been able to fly. When we got him he had no tail feathers so he was real bad with his guidance system. He could not control where he went. Peaches had her wings clipped. It took a while for her feathers to grow in. She would try to fly and drop like a rock! Finally feathers started growing in and she slowly learned flight. It was like watching a baby take their first steps. Her flights keep getting longer and more controled. She started landing where she wanted instead of where her wings gave out or after she hit the wall. Many a day I will feel the brush of a wing tip on my cheek as they fly by me. I have felt the wind they create with their wings as they fly hard to keep altitude. Then the landing. First one back always starts calling out, LOUD! It is almost like they are saying "I WON!" LOL

Yesterday Pat watched another flight. A small hawk had swooped down in the yard and caught a rabbit. Poor hing had bad hudgement..... the rabbit was too much for him and he was unable to lift it off the ground. Sorry to say the rabbit did not survive the ordeal. It became a meal for other creatures instead of being the hawk's meal.

Sunday, August 7, 2005

today

Today has been a quiet one so far. A bit of rain off and on so it has cooled things down some. Pat is at his Mama's right now. Not sure of how everything is going to be, so it is a wait and see time.

I made some ice cream today. Nice to have something cool around here.

Friday, August 5, 2005

.

I think the heat has affected everybody's brain around here. Things are changing around here and I do not like it. My world is starting to come unglued and I have no idea how to stop it. I can feel panic building up in me and I do not know what is going to happen. I feel as if my world is crushing me. I am going to be alone I can feel it. I know, I may be over reacting but that is how I feel right now.

Thursday, August 4, 2005

Wednesday, August 3, 2005

update

It turned into a long day and i's not over yet.

Hazel's surgery was delayed several times. Having worked in a hospital I understood the delays, no one else did. They were getting irritated which was irritating me! They could not understand that things in surgery do not always go according to a strict time schedule.

The doctor came and talked to me afterwards. He is just about 99% sure that it is a cancer that was removed. They did have to do a skin graft. It was a rather large area that was cut off. Luckily they did not have to put her to sleep. They were able to use a local. He said that if the muscle was involved then he would intubate her and sedate her.

She is home and tired and hurting. I have a headache now! LOL The stress is over and now it is time to relax.

There was a girl in the room next to her that had surgery. I do not know her name. She is in bad shape. She had cancer when she was 19 and beat it. Shortly afterwards she was diagnosised with MS. She fought that and is able to walk now without a walker. Anyway, she had a place in her neck that they feared was cancer. It turned out to be benign. She was waiting to go home and her neck started swelling. They had to rush her back into surgery. A small place in the back of where they had cut started leaking blood so it had to be repaired right away. Thank goodness she had not already left for home.

So I am home and tired but the day is not over. I have to go pick Pat up at work at midnight. YUCK. It is a 27 mile trip one way and I hate driving at night in the city.

gonna be a long day

Today is going to be a long day. Pat's mom is going to have her surgery today. The last time she had surgery they had a hard time getting her off the vent. Today really should be no problem as surgery will only last an hour tops. They are not expecting to have to do a skin graft but anything is possible.

Brook and I walked to the bus stop this morning. I have been slacking real bad on my walking. Today I did get a mile in. Now that Brook is back in school I should be able to get it in. I can walk after she gets on the bus. It is cool enough then and not too much traffic. We actually had 2 cars go by us this morning!

Buddy is feeling real good. He is attacking everything! He did not play this much when he was a little kitten. I have 2 more cats that I am going to get fixed, Bubba and Susie. I wish we had low cost clinics around here. I have to take to vet and get it done, NOT cheap.

The horses are liking the cooler temps around here. It only got up to 90 yesterday. It is dropping into the 60's at night now.

I wonder if anybody knows if that Mars event is for real? I keep getting emails about it. I need to check it out. Has anybody already checked it out?

Time to get busy. I was lazy yesterday and did not clean up after dinner. Have to clean up and fix some breakfast. I only have about an hour and half before I have to leave for hospital.

Monday, August 1, 2005

Today was my baby's first day of second grade. I cried this morning as I watched my baby take my baby to the bus stop. It was the first time that I was not with her taking her. But I watched until the bus came and took her away on it.

She is so excited! She could not wait to show me the papers to sign and send back to school. Among the papers was a permission slip that she pulled out and said that I had to sign this first. It was a permission slip for her to be tested for Kaleidoscope. Kaleidoscope is the gifted program. It turns out that her score of 397/400 in all three areas that she was tested in for the state TSAT tests put her on the fast track for testing. There are 5 areas that they will be testing her in:1. Achievement, using either the Iowa Test of Basic Skills or the Kaufman Test of Educational Achievement 2. Mental Ability- using the Cognitive Abilities test 3. Creativity- using the Torrance Tests of creative Thinking 4. Motivation- using the Hawthrone Gifted Evaluation scale. Now I understand that these may not be the only tests that they use. The only test that I foresee any problem with is creativity. She is so factual. If she does not make it this time there will be another time. I have heard that most children do not make it the first time they are tested.

More happened today but I just feel like talking about my little darling!