Tuesday, August 12, 2008

This weekend was slow and quiet. Way too quiet. No fights(good thing) no phone calls from Brook(sad thing)no visits from anybody(good and bad thing).

I wonder at times why we love the men(or women) we do. Why is it so hard to put into words that feeling you have inside of you. What is it that keeps us with the person we are with?
I know when I look at Pat or think about him I have this wide range of emotions. In matter of seconds I might feel my heart squeezing, a smile on my lips, tears in my eyes, anger in my head How long can a person continue feeling sad and happy at the same time? My anger is not just directed at him, it is directed at me also. My sadness is not just about what is happening with me and Pat, but with the rest of my family.
I am unable to deal with the happiness, sadness, or whatever else anybody else is having right now. At least not in person. I can read about it but I cannot be involved in it. I went to my niece's wedding last weekend and it was beautiful. All I could think of is that I hope she never has the drama in her life that I have or that has been in other members of the family. My mama taught me well how to smile and laugh even though you are suffering.


5 comments:

  1. Celeste I'm so sorry you are hurting so much these days. Paula

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  2. All any of us can do is put a brave face on things and do the best that we can. It is the price of being human.

    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

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  3. We all just have to take it one day at a time.  Sending you a big hug.
    Pam

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  4. I'm sorry, Celeste, that all this hurts so much. I hope you can see her soon, and thhat you find the strength to get through this time. Margo

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  5. Who knows why we fall in love with some people? Then we all change some with time. Yet, we can remember the early love - and that is probably what keeps us together sometimes. I hope you see Brook soon!

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