settling in

Things have settled in. Candiac will allow Brook to see me as long as Pat is not around. She let her spend the night last night which shocked me and Brook to no ends. Today after school Brook came down to see her papaw even though her mama said she was not to come here until after he leaves. She got in trouble because she came here before 4 oclock. Brook said that Candiac told her that Pat was dead to her and so he was dead to Brook. Brook told me that no way. That she loved him and he would never be dead to her no matter what her mama says. She chooses to try to poison a child's mind. How cruel. I choose to not say anything to Brook about anything. I did tell her that I would not tell her mother that she came to see him ever! That man has been the only man that has been constant in her whole life. Without him, Brook would have been in the foster care program when she was only 2 years old. He bought this trailor so they would not take her away, to provide a safe place for her to live. Her mother picked drugs. @ days before she was due to get her back she was busted by the feds for selling drugs and she was still using. Somehow she faked the drug screens. She was leaving her places, with "friends". I was constantly having to find Brook and retrieve her. Brook does not remember any of that. She was 1 and 2 years old at that time. What Brook does know is I cared for her all the time. I was the one that held her when she cried because mama had to stay in jail. I was the one that held her as she threw up. I was the one that sang to her every night and read her a story. Last night she asked me to sing for her. She is almost 11 years old and wanted to hear Hush little baby. That tells me she is stressed. I will not lay crap on her and hurt her in any way. I know how much it hurts to hear someone say bad things about someone you love. I cannot hurt her. Strangly enough, I can live without my daughter around but not Brook. I know the holidays will be hard because they mean family to me. They will be hard since Pat's family does not like me and my daughter ... Brook's birthday is next month. It will be the first one that I will not get to spend with her. Or maybe I will. It is on a Monday and that is Tae Kwon Do day so maybe...

Enough.

I cut grass today. What a job when the ground is so dry. Dust kicks up everywhere. After getting the yard done I rode the tractor for about 30 minutes before it started messing up. If it does not rain tomorrow I will ride it again until it does it again. Eventually I will get the field cut. We have replaced teh wiring and the gas line. new points and plugs have been put in also. Next is a core. maybe that will get it going again the way it should be doing. It needs a new clutch because this one slips under starin. That goes make it a bit harder to cut the high stuff.

I lost a hen and 4 more chicks. I am assuming a raccoon. I thought I say coon poop the other day... 2 chciks showed up after being missing for several days. I was surprised to see them. The red hen has 1 chick. It looks as if another rooster has ben in the hen house. this baby hasd white feathers!. You tell me how a rhode island red hen and a half game half rhode island red rooster made a baby with white featers! Not just a few white feathers either!

Ok time to vacuume and hit the showers. I spilled gas on me today and I stink.