Friday, December 28, 2007

Alternative Affirmations for the New Year...

Alternative Affirmations for the New Year...

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.

8. I am at one with my duality.

9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.

10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?

16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.

17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

10 comments:

  1. Now that's a list I can get behind! LOL!

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  2. LOLOLOLOLOLOL....hugs...Ora

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  3. OH, now we have more than enough people practicing these principals already!!  -  Barbara

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  4. These were great, Celeste!  
    Sam

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  5. I'm afraid of my inner sociopath!!  He'll kill me!!  ;)

    Russ

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  6. Whatever it was, it's not my fault!

    xoxo

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  7. I love these!!
    Lori

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  8. ROFL.

    Blessings!~

    Susan

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