Thursday, May 24, 2007

RIP

The baby died tonight.When  we got home from Taekwondo it was stretched out on Brook's floor.She burst into tears because she thought it was dead. I picked it up and it was still alive but you could tell that the end was near. I held the baby cupped in my hands so that it would die feeling loved and warm. It would gasp and look at me without seeing. I would rub her head with my thumb and she would turn to me. After about 30 minutes she crossed the rainbow bridge. She was so small. She fit entirely in one hand. I am glad that she did not have to go alone on a cold floor. She tried so hard to make it. She was drinking the milk that I gave her and still nursing. It hurts so much to see a little one go. If I had never tried to help it I would not be so upset. My emotions is the reason I can not work with patients anymore. I would die some each time I lost someone. It became personal.I tried, I really did try. I hate this. It killed me watching and hearing Brook sobbing. I had to hold my own tears for her. NOw they flow. I hate death sometimes. If it tears me up this bad over a kitten that I have only been helping for a few days, what will happen to me when it is Sebastian's turn? I have had him for 19 years now.

13 comments:

  1. I am soo sorry, I am glad that you all got home in time to be there and the baby felt the warmth and love you have for it. I am just like you, I am so  soft hearted, I don't know how I will be when it is my Skeeter and Lillie's time to go. It will just kill me. Hang in there, time will help. hugs

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  2. Celeste, how sad, you have me crying with you and Brook, you tried, things will get better and the sun will shine again. God Bless. gg

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  3. hestiahomeschoolMay 25, 2007 at 2:08 PM

    We always cry and cry when we lose a baby. Last week it was a baby squirrel that we had been taking care of two months...after we released it, we found it dead in its little nest box. It hurts so much.

    Poor Brooke. But it is important to try.

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  4. Celeste, I am so sorry. I am also so glad that kitten dies in your hands, feeling loved annd honored for its valient atemt at life. Losing Sebastion will be like losing a child, heatr wrenching. But we can't have the good times with an animal or person, without knowing we'll havr to part somedaay. You are such a good and caring woman. Brook is lucky to have you as a grandmother. Margo

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  5. This brought tears to my eyes, having lost our last old cat just recently and our dear Pip just last year.  But it was wonderful that the little creature knew that it was being tended, loved, held and that it passed from this world gently.  You did all that you could, it was just not to be.  Losing a pet is just as great as losing a family member, those who are not pet owners or lovers will never understand this.  That is why Mike got me little Leo.  Of course he does not take the place of others, each animal is unique with its own personality and character but to have a kitten to smile at, watch its antics, hold it, cuddle it, certainly eases the pain of the loss of a much loved pet. The memories linger forever, we never forget them, their unconditional love and the years they shared with us.  Pets are truly a blessing from God.

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  6. That brought tears to my eyes, also.  I am so very sorry.  I'm glad you guys got home in time to give the little girl some warmth and comfort, though.
    Lori

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  7. I didn't get this entry alert!  I am so sorry!  Poor thing.  Glad you were there to give it comfort.  

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  8. I never got this alert. I'm catching up now. I'm so sorry the baby died. I don't like death either. I've lost too many loved ones...human and animal to it.  That is why I had to leave ICU for awhile.
    Pam

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  9. Sorry about the baby....you tried so hard....and bless Brook...hard on the little ones....she is like you...tenderhearted....and just enjoy Sebastian all you can....for when the end comes....you will be heart broken...but the memories will be good....hugs to ya...Ora

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  10. Oh, I am soooooooo sorry Celeste...I know how hurt you must be, and poor little Brook...bless her heart. Vut you know what...that little baby died knowing that someone who was loving, kind, and gentle was holding on to it ...I thank God that it did not die alone.
    God bless your heart Celeste.
    love ya,
    carlene

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  11. I'm so sorry for the loss and your grief.  Please take care and rest.

    Russ

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  12. so sad.  i know how you feel i still cry when the fish die
    hugs
    noelle

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  13. You are someone who so obviously has a deep love for all living things.  Of course it would be painful for you to have this baby you've tried to nurse die.  I'm so sorry.

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