I woke up early this morning. Excited because Christmas is in 4 days? No. Today is Day 1 of chemo for my husband. Will he be able to tolerate it? Will it shrink the cancer? Will it help the swelling in his leg? Will it help me have my husband next Christmas? So many questions and no answers.
I woke up early this morning my pillow wet from tears shed in my sleep. Tears cried that I cannot do in front of him. I have to show him strength I cannot let my fears bring him down.
I wake up early so I can put my game face on before he wakes. I am his caretaker now. I have his back now.