Tuesday, February 26, 2008


I have lost myself. I have no idea where I went. Sometimes I just lose myself. My little anti social shell creeps back over my life and I hide again. I have to force myself to get going again.
Candy brought a  boy over this morning and put him to work cleaning out Crystal's stall. Yes I know it is a school day. This kid has decided to get suspended from school for 10 days. Not a good situation. In all I don't think he is a bad kid, just lost. He is an angry kid. He hates his mama because he does not have a father (his dead is a real deadbeat and a bad person that denies he has a kid) Jessie has not been told who he is.  He also hates her because she is gay. I have heard the young man talking about her and that is truly the only reason he ever says as to why. Somehow he has been taught that women cannot be in a position of authority. That a woman cannot be president because they ARE a woman. I don't understand him. His mother has always provided for him without assistance. She works hard to give him what he wants. This same little boy used to be  so sweet with her. Hugging and kissing and I love youing.
Anyway, Candy went and picked him up last night because she knew she would not be working today. She informed him that this morning he would be cleaning out stalls, rain or shine. This is a city boy not a farm boy. She let him know that suspension from school did not mean sitting around playing games and watching TV. Ok I need to do some cleaning. I have a lot to catch up on. I must clean. (I have to keep telling myself that)


  1. I'm glad Candy is stepping in to make sure this kid finds that suspension is not a vacation.  It's a shame there is not an older male presence in this lad's life.  He must be getting these ideas from the kids at school.  I would say he would be an excellent candidate for the Big Brother Program if there is one in your area.  I hope someone can teach him the truth about women and sex and life partners before it is too late for him to learn.  Glad you are coming out of your shell again, I've been missing your posts.

  2. Hi Celeste: Good to see you here. So many lost kids in this world today. Just breaks my heart. Maybe he will get some guidance from you and your daughter. Paula

  3. " I wand far and sometimes get lost; I own a purpose greater than myself, the saving of children from darkness ...'

    As a man raised by a single mother (why does that sound redundant?) I am of the mind that it is more difficult for the woman to raise a boy to man in this still sexist society.  The added tension of his mom's sexuality isn't helping ...

    ... looking for reason isn't going to be easy ... both my brother and I are effeminite, but he alone is gay ... said that to say it really is irrational the way sexual identity works ... but it is fundmental and prolly more central to this kid than is being given credit for ...

    ... finally, boys are best raised in pack leader environments ... this mean she NEED TO KICK HIS ASS ... FOR REAL ... once she backs her FIRM policy with the threat of physical confrontation, he WILL mind and maybe she can begin to shape a caring loving person ...

  4. awwwww Celeste....you have been sick...in body....and sometimes it sure drags down your emotions....I think alot of us have been "lost" from time to time....and we have to make ourselves "alive" again....as I know you will do....and that sweet young man...sure needs alot of TLC...and good that someone is making him do rather than sitting home during this time....hugs and prayers to all.....Ora

  5. Thats so sad, I hope he realizes someday soon how lucky he really is to have her.

  6. A good hard days' work cleaning out a horse stall won't hurt him any.  I hope he can change his attitude and grow up before he gets into some real trouble.  Glad to see you found yourself! :)

  7. poor kid. hopefully he'll get his issues worked out.

    Im a bit anti-social myself these days.


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