mad mad mad

This is me today          . I am so angry at the phone company. This is what I wanted to do to the phone guy that came out yesterday.and this is what I want to do to the phone company.   I called Saturday because there was noise on the line and it was on their side not mine. Monday they come out and tell me there is no problem. Well duh I know there is. I am being kicked off line 50 -100 times a day. I can hear the noise and I am very hard of hearing. Well today they come out again. Less than 1 hour later  off line I go again. This time the noise is so bad the best connection I can get is 12,000bps. That is bad very bad. I called them again. This time I had a cell number and left a voice mail. If he cannot hear it then he is deaf. I will be calling again in the morning the first time I get kicked off. Okay sending this before I lose it again.

This is awesome

This was taken August 18th, 2004 after Charlie. I do not know for sure as I did not take it. One thing I do know if it is an awesome picture even if it is a computer generated image.

 

Been thinking this morning.

“Every small, positive change we can make in ourselves repays us with confidence n the future.” ~Alice Walker, American writer

        

We resist change. There is a comman saying," accept me as I am not as you want me to be." We expect others to change for us.

Change is  a hard thing to do. It matters not if it is a big  or a small change. What matters is that the change comes from within. Just changing how others see you is not a change if inside you are saying just you wait until I am alone.... A true change comes only if it is what you want.

I have things I want to change. Some are  small and will be seemingly insignificant, others will have a major impact on my life. No matter what the change, it will be positive. The changes cover all aspects of my life, from my actions to my reactions. Some of the actions are a result of  reactions and those will be hard.

 My family will feel the effects of my changes as it will effect them too. All of my changes will in some way change others around me. In changing the way I am doing things or reacting to stuff then maybe it will help them to change the things that they need to change.

I know I will hear comments that you don't have to change anything but I do. I know that how I react to certain situations causes me pain and I do not like feeling the way I do when it happens. I am a stubborn person and I will put my back up against a wall and fight you until I have reached the point of no return.

Some of the changes are as simple as in how I clean house. I do whatever I can to get out of it. Unfortunately, I am not organized so therefore the house becomes a wreck. I can clean, I used to make a living at it, but I hate it. Life would be easier around here both physically and mentally if I did clean better. I rebel probally because I had a MIL that would white glove my house. My then husband grew up with that and he expected it from me too. Everything had to be ironed if it need it or not, from shirts, sheets and yes, even underwear. Strangly enough when we were living together it was not that way. The same day we marriedmy life became hell in more ways than just that.