Master of change

Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.
       - Brian Tracy

Much of my life I was a victim of change. The first change that I can put my finger on was
 the death of my father and over hearing part of a conversation that I was not meant to hear. A conversation I held in my heart for years, letting it hurt me in ways I cannot tell. Amazing how one sentence can put someone in such a downward spiral and how many lives it can affect.

As the years have passed and I have gotten older I still played the part of victim. I never realized that I could do more than just accept things. I was not taught to embrace change and use it, to learn from it.

Some years back Brook came to live with me due to bad changes in her Mother's life. This was a change that I welcomed, Brook, not what was happening to her Mother. A few years ago Brook went back to her Mother, a change that broke my heart. She is home again and with that I hope to bring some change to her life. I hope I can bring some peace back into her life and get her back on track again. Unfortunately I do not think she will be allowed to stay here for as long as I would like (18 or older would suit me).

There are other changes looming on the horizon. Pat is planning on taking early retirement next year. With that will come a significant decrease in income. Most likely I will have to return to the workforce. Doing what, I have no idea. Fast food, retail, convenience store clerk, patient pusher, house cleaner, any of those or all of those. I do know that I will not be returning to the field I am trained in. I am a CRT, respiratory therapist. I am obsolete having been out of the field for 17 years now.

What I am doing in the meantime is working on ways to supplement retirement income. I planted peach trees, not a good thing. I think I may be a bit north for my trees to do good. LOL No peaches to date but at least they are pretty when they bloom. I planted pecan trees but somebody thought they were sticks and mowed them down. That is something I will be replanting as soon as I can find some more trees. Pecans can bring in a good income, not enough to live on unless you plant a whole grove! I also have some blueberry bushes. I thought about planting a lot of bushes and having a pick it yourself farm. I think I would rather pick them myself and sell them. I can make money by undercutting the grocery stores!  Pecans and blueberries are not year round income. For year round I have started selling AVON. I have not made much money doing it yet but I am working on it. By the way I have a web store. Click the AVON and it will take you to my store, register and I will send you a free shipping code. 

I am looking forward to Pat's retirement. I know we will make it on less money. He is scared we won't. He is only seeing the dark lining. I am looking at the silver lining. I see the changes as good now. I will not allow myself to stay in the dark depths of despair and doubts.